May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
