he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
