TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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