Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
