I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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