doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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