you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
