I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
