youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
