if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
