"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
