my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
