soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
