In the future we'll all be gay
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
