u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
