If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
