Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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