I want to have your abortion
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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