I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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