About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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