I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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