her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize