I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
