great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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