This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
