Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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