I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
