and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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