He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize