hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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