found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
