How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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