At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
