in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
