when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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