So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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