I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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