I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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