oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's never too late to be topless.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
