I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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