You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize