i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i think my cat just said my name.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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