Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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