I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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