I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
where does the pee come out of this thing
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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