hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
