dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
