Me too!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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