Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
