the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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