Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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