Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
