let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
