I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you never un-have a 4some
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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