some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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