Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
