I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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