I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Enjoy the penises
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
