Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
