You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
