I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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