I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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