dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
