you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
