I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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