Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
