those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize